I’m just a college writer, living and learning every day. Write in with your questions/problems, and I’ll give you my take on it. Because sometimes you just need to hear a different perspective.
I’m friends with this girl, she makes me laugh, I make her laugh. She makes me incredibly happy
when we are together but I do not think she is as interested in me as I am in her. Should I ask
her out and risk making things awkward or just stay friends and wonder what could have been?
Sincerely, a UMF student in need of relationship advice
Dear UMF student in need of relationship advice,
Friendship can be a great way to lead into a relationship, so spending time together as friends
definitely isn’t hurting your chances with her. I wonder why you think she’s not as interested in
you as you are in her though. Insecurity lives within us all, even if it’s only a small amount. Try
to look past any of that and observe how she acts around you. What does her body language
tell you? Sometimes the body can give away signals. But that’s obviously not a foolproof way to
tell. The only way to know is to ask her, but you’ve got to tread lightly here. There are a few
important things to consider before making any big moves. 1). Do you usually hang out in a big
group with her, or do you ever hang out just you two? If you guys are just casual friends, then
the next step you should take is getting her number. Already have it? You’re golden. Text her
(or use social media) and say “Hey just wondering if you wanted to ____”. I left a blank there
because I don’t know what you like to do for fun. It doesn’t have to be dinner or a movie, which
just sounds too date-like. Maybe there is something going on around campus you wanted to
attend, or you could go for a nice walk around Farmington to see the foliage. Casual friendships
can easily turn into relationships if the friends both feel the same. Her response will let you
know how she feels. If she doesn’t respond or mentions bringing other people along with you
then that probably means you shouldn’t pursue her further. If this girl really liked you or was
open to the possibility of liking you, she’d be totally fine with hanging out just you two. 2).How
long have you been friends? This question is essential. If you have only been friends a short
time, then there isn’t much at stake. So what if she doesn’t like you? She’s just one girl. There
will be others, trust me on that. But what if you’ve been friends for years? That’s where it gets
tricky. I should know, I recently explored feelings for my best friend of almost four years. By
doing so I realized that regardless of feelings, we weren’t a good fit. Now finding the easy
balance we once had is going to be a little tricky. In a situation like mine it’s best to slow it
down and really consider if attempting romance is worth the damage it could make to your
friendship. I hope this girl likes you back, and your friendship gets set on fire. Good luck in love!
My 19 year old boyfriend acts like he’s 10 sometimes, and I don’t know what to do. I love him,
but I don’t want to be his mom. What should I do?
One thing I have to say up front is this: ALL 19 year old boys act like they are 10 year olds
sometimes. Being of age to drive, buy cigarettes, go to college, and join the military doesn’t
insure that one’s maturity level has developed fully yet. Both Men and women alike are
frustrating at times. Have you ever had a big temper tantrum over the fact that you can’t
find your favorite t-shirt? I can see myself now, flinging stuff around the room, letting out
exasperated sighs, and whining like it’s a huge catastrophe. This was yesterday. We all act
childish sometimes. But if your boyfriend’s childish actions are really bothering you, then you’ve
got to be honest with him. Don’t worry about sounding like his mother. You should be allowed
to express your feelings and concerns with the person you’re in a relationship with. Next time
he throws his controller across the room because he lost the game, (or whatever else he does
that irks you), just tell him. The one thing you’ve got to realize though is there’s a good chance
he won’t change it. People are who they are for a reason, and old habits die hard. However,
there are always certain things about a person that are susceptible to change through maturity.
The only advice I can give you is to only consider your happiness . What do you love about him?