My love life seems to be non-existent and I’m feeling hopelessly lonely. What can I do about this?
Dear Aesthetically Distressed,
Honey, first off I want to remind you that at this exact moment in time there are about a billion plus people on earth who are dealing with the same problem. Especially in college, as we transition into adulthood, the appeal of forming a special companionship with someone is huge. We’re human, we have needs to be filled, and it’s in our nature to search for those fillers.
In college it seems like it’d be super easy to meet people. However, in a small-town setting like Farmington, sometimes it seems like you’ve met everyone already. Trust me, you haven’t. Before you actively start searching for someone, first make sure you know what you want. Are you interested in an emotional connection, a sexual connection, and a friendship? If this is what you want, don’t settle for anything less. Save yourself the pain and only set your sights on people who are interested in a likewise relationship.
Are there any people you find attractive/interesting that you’ve seen in classes or around campus? Find them on Facebook, sure, but try and have a conversation with them in person too. Getting out of your shell is the key to meeting people. Not everyone is going to notice you if you’re standing quietly in the corner. At a party or friend gathering try to make at least one or two conversations happen with people you normally don’t talk to. Joining clubs on campus is also a great way to find new connections in the area. If you identify with a sexual orientation other than heterosexuality, there’s a support group on campus that might interest you. The LinQ meets every Wednesday in the Psychology building from 7-9 pm. This group is a safe place to talk about issues relevant to the LGBTQ community as well as meet people.
Hopefully some of these ideas helped you. Above all else, remember that if you want something in this world you’ve got to go and get it. Be actively searching for someone to connect with, but don’t let all your time and thoughts be devoted to it. Focusing on yourself for a while will only allow you to create deeper, saner relationship choices later on. Just be yourself, love yourself, and soon enough people will start to notice how awesome you are