Faith and Fearless

How do you know if a friend will make a good roommate?

I’m not going to pretend that it’s easy. There aren’t any hard and fast rules when it comes to roommates, but to be honest, you have to be careful with friends. Having a roommate can either be great or awful. If it goes well, it’s like having a partner—someone who you can rely on. I’ve never been in a bad roommate situation. I’ve had the same roommate for three semesters and throughout these semesters, through honesty and compromise we’ve become a working pair. We know how to level with each other and because of that, we work as roommates. We can be honest with each other, but also recognize irrational frustration with each other.

The key to a healthy roommate relationship is tactful honesty. If you’re annoyed, stand back and think, “Am I being unreasonable?” If it’s an easy fix and you don’t think you’re being ridiculous, then talk about it. When you move in with someone, it takes a while to acclimate and only through discussion will you feel comfortable in your living space. If you don’t talk about it, then you’ll slide back into resentment and passive aggression, which will only tension between you two. This is especially important if you’re rooming with a good friend. If you’re rooming with someone who you respect, but don’t particularly love, then resentment isn’t as toxic. However, if you’re rooming with a good friend, it’s important to talk out your problems. Resentment will break up your friendship and it’ll stink if the whole reason was because you refused to talk to her/him about leaving his/her shoes in the walkway.

If you think you guys can be honest with each other, then go for it, but just remember that it’s all about honesty.

What is the best way to break up with a long distance boyfriend/girlfriend?

First of all, I’m sorry that your relationship isn’t working out. There’s nothing worse than thinking something can work and then discovering that it can’t.

Secondly, most of the choices you need to make about this break up hinge on how far away he/she is. If your significant other lives two hours away, then go there. Talk it over face to face. Don’t do it over the phone. You’re close enough that a phone break up will be harsh and insensitive. However, if you’re FAR away (four hours or more), then you need to think this over. Nobody in the history of forever wants a phone break up and don’t even think about using the internet. If you and this person decided to try long distance it means that your relationship was serious enough and important enough that you needed each other in spite of the distance. So think it over. Think about what you’re doing. Why are you breaking up? Is it because the distance is too much or is it because you don’t think the other person is right for you? Be honest. Both answers are acceptable, but just remember that this person is important and whether or not you decide to spend the rest of your lives together does not make him/her any less deserving of the truth.

It’s all about sensitivity, so just think about how it must seem from the other side. Sometimes it just doesn’t work, but think about how you would feel if you were the one being broken up with. As long as you’re honest with yourself, you’ll do the situation justice.

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