Welcome to “Some DAM good Advice,” the Farmington Flyers anonymous advice column. Each issue, we will be answering questions submitted by you—the students of UMF. No topic is off limits and submissions are greatly appreciated. If you would like to submit a question, please access the online form on the Farmington Flyer’s facebook page or visit www.somedamgoodadvice.weebly.com under the “about” section.
Q: My roommate and I have been best friends since we were kids. We were so excited to come to UMF together and we even ended up getting an apartment together this year. Unfortunately though, things have been weird ever since. She has a new group of friends and I always feel left out. She’s still my best friend, but it seems like we’re drifting apart and I hate that. How should I deal with this? Is there something I can do? Signed, Sad Friend
A: Well, Sad Friend, I think this may be one of the hardest questions we have ever received. It is always a little tricky giving advice to people when it comes to friendship – simply because different strategies work for different people. No matter what though, one of the strategies that remains constant and important for everyone is communication. Have you told your friend how you are feeling? We know that talking openly and honestly can be incredibly difficult, but you will feel much better once you have gotten this off your chest. It is quote possible that your friend does not realize that her actions are hurting you. However, I must say that as for her hanging out with a different group of people—that’s normal. As people grow and mature, they begin to find others with similar interests. People that have class together or share the same major tend to relate more to one another as they reach the end of school, bonding over the pressures and worries of what they will be facing in “the real world.” I guess what we’re trying to say is that it’s okay for people to grow apart. We know that it’s tough to hear, but trust us—it’s okay. Growing apart does not mean that you will never be friends again, just simply that that you might have to form a new, different type of friendship. And remember, different doesn’t mean bad.Like we said before, the best thing to do is to just sit down and tell her how you are feeling. You will be amazed at how receptive people can be when someone talks to them about something as sensitive as this. If this person is a true friend and they mean this much to you—don’t give up. If you’re coming from a place of caring and respect, they will listen to you. If they value the friendship as much as you do, they will be open to change. We hope everything works out for you and you friend. Good Luck!